Let the Countdown Begin

This month has been a great one.  The classroom of training at my job is almost over and I finally get to practice all that I have learned. Yipee.  I really, really, did I say really like my job and Mr. C does too.  Plus I will finally really be able to more into the blog. I'm looking for someone to design a new one for me. Any suggestions?

I've signed up for some new classes that start next month. Oh and my company pays for all of it! I'm looking forward to continuing my education.

I got my hair braided...Can you say ten hours? I have a big head and very thick hair. I also got some new glasses! Tiffany and Co. are the best, I love the light blue on the inside.

But best of all I am finally starting my countdown for Mr. C to come home. I'm so excited and I just can't hide it.

Insane in the membrane?

Hi Ladies! I hope all is well. Sorry I have not been the greatest blogger lately. So let me share whats been going on.

Training has been going well. I like my new job so far and it is such a relief not having to drive 200 miles a day. Plus it looks like hes going to be stationed 37 miles away from my new job =) Great news right?  But I'm debating whether or not I want to move in together.

You see Mr. C didn't want to move in right away =( At first my feeling were a little hurt, but I was ok with it.  We have never really lived apart throughout our entire relationship and he wanted to see what it would be like. Plus part of me thinks that Mr. C was at a fork in the road in regards to our relationship.  Meaning that I think he was trying to figure out if this was going to lead to the M word.

I've been engaged before, so I'm in no rush and in fact I'm all for taking things slow. Mr. C has had some friends that have had some bad experiences. When he found out that he was deploying, everyone asked him how did Jess take the news?  It almost made me feel as though they thought I couldn't handle the "military lifestyle".

But I could and I did. I made sure the apartment was taken care of after he had to leave. I took care of all the loose ends and finished moving myself back to my parents. And I did all of this while still working full time, because my last crappy job wouldn't give me days off.

I've sent numerous care packages, the biggest one was 28 pounds ;) And I continued to send them after I left my job, in fact I worked extra part time hours at my old dept store job so I could pay for them. He was able to share with some of his friends there and in fact all of them called him spoiled. Shipping is definitely a nightmare. Side note: He does spoil me as well, very much so.

But I did it all because I love him and I plan on always being there to support him in any way I know how.  So now he has been talking about moving in together sooner... And you know what I'm in no rush. I had already planned on just staying over on weekends anyway. I know he wants a long term future with me, but I just wish he would discuss it more. And part of me feels like if he didn't see this side of me over the course of deployment he would not have wanted to move in together as quickly. So my question is what would you do? Would you move in?  

One more thing:  My title was Insane in the Membrane because I'm doing Shaun T's INSANITY! I'm on my second week. I gotta look good in my bikini while I'm sipping margaritas! HA

Good Weekend Anyone?

A little Birthday update. My poor phone was dead all that day so I had no access to chat or email. When I got home I checked my email and I got the sweetest thing ever: 

 He is so freaking cute!

Plus I got part of my birthday gift courtesy of Amazon. The pictures were the best gift ever, I didn't even need anything else. C knew I was having a bad day and just wanted to make me smile.

On another note my job is going well.  I'm trying to make new friends, but we shall see. The most important thing is that I think I'm going to like my job =) I have to get a blogging app for my Droid so I can blog during my lunch.

So ladies what is the sweetest thing your Babe has ever done for you?

So its my Birthday

And I will be honest it is a little depressing.

My mom, who I love with all my heart, pissed me the freak off. I mean to the point where I got back home from training around 12pm ish, I got back in my car and drove around until 1:30 ish.

Now I'm kind of feeling a little bad about my morning outburst. It is not my usual behavior, I mean I did not even want them to sing Happy Birthday.

Does anyone else feel guilty when they feel upset with other people even when they have a right to? Cause I'm starting to feel hella guilty.

It has been a rough couple of weeks, but you can only blog but so much about negative stuff you know?

So positives:
It is my birthday.
I think I like my new job.
I have not cut my hair off.
My new job has a gym that only cost 15 bucks a month on site!
Its closer to Mr. C getting back home.

Yuck

That is just how I feel right now.  I have not forgotten about posting I've just been a little down.  I will be back soon.
~Jess~

The day I almost cut my hair off...

So I've been attempting to go natural and today I was annoyed with my hair.  So I annoyed I almost cut it, but I didn't and I probably won't.  I've never had really short hair before, I'm so glad I didn't cut it and I think Mr. C is too.

On another note I have to start studying for the GRE soon and I start my new full time job Thursday. I'm so excited!

I will finish the Mr. C story tomorrow! Exciting stuff right?? ha

An Off Day....

Yesterday was kind of an off day for me.  I've noticed that my mood is closely linked to C and the same goes for him.  So every now and again I get.... well annoyed.

Don't get me wrong C is a great guy.  He's loving, attentive, generous and he is my best friend. I know he goes out of his way to talk to me with the little free time that he has. But sometimes I don't know if he realizes that I do the same.  That I always keep my phone nearby and on instant messenger.  That I try to stay near the house so that we can video chat. So I wonder how he is going to handle it when I start working full time again during the hours we usually chat.

So yesterday we were supposed to be "video chatting", but it felt as though I was doing most of the chatting and he was giving me occasional responses. Might I add that he was web surfing at the same time... So shortly after I told he I could talk to him later and he said "you sound disappointed". Of course I said no I'm not, even though I was.  He said "we've talked a long time", it was maybe 20 minutes or so. We said our love yous and ended our chat.

Why was I disappointed?  Because our last couple of combined instant messaging conversations before that were for maybe a total of 15 minutes with pauses included.  Because I hate feeling as though I'm leading a conversation.  It makes me not even want to talk in the first place. Of course I'm not going to ignore him, but maybe I just should not be as quick jump.

A few months ago C told me "babe we have to let things happen naturally", meaning that we shouldn't plan out when we could talk. At the time I was store manager during 4th quarter working 70 hour weeks. I tried to explain to him that I did not have a lot of time and that I really had to put forth effort so that we could talk, but he did not seem to get it. So... for the next week I let it happen "naturally" and we did not talk for five days.  And he finally realized that maybe there should be more thought there.

I've learned to write emails that I never send to help me vent. Venting is an awesome tool! It helps me feel better and to get my thoughts together. It also provides me with the opportunity to censor myself.  After I vent, if there is something still bothering me and I realize that its not me being delusional I bring it up in the form of an e-mail. It has worked wonders for us.

So I guess for the next few days I will let things happen naturally, if we talk we talk and if we don't we don't. So why am I clicking over to instant messaging to see if he is "available".